The Peculiar Prose of Merrian Smithersonstone

*****Note to reader*****
I know you are used to me writing notes about worthless information, opinions, dating, theories, musical taste... etc, but--- I have grown weary of such. So, I figured why not treat you all to a story.... and yes, I really am both arrogant and weird enough to do this with a 'blog'... take it for what it is if you do read along, hope you find everything as humorous as I
*****end note to reader*****

It isn't widely known, and probably even lesser believed, but it is as true as any fact the world has ever known. Its as much a sure thing as the Tooth Fairy's exchange rate on your teeth is somehow related to your families yearly income, or as certain that Santa really is sleeping with your mother, this thing... oh but silly Eye. I open here and speak(type really) such ridiculous banter, and not even hint at what the topic that I speak of is.

You see, each time a person in this world dies, a new one is born exactly 37 minutes after said death to replace him or her. Don't try and combat this factual fact with your silly old wives tales or news reports of population inflation or mass murdering-holocaustal acts! Just know that for you to even attempt to follow the following, you may have suspend your disbelief of this reality, and put on the shelf all of the grounding weight of the world you know so well (or so you think). In doing these listed requests, and understanding what I tell you, will you only then know what is going on here.

So like I said before, each time a person in this world dies, a new person in born exactly 37 minutes later.

There are a few more basic guidelines to reality... these are covered in many different historical texts. Scientists and scholars alike have devoted their entire careers to finding out why these things do indeed tend to happen, but we don't have the kind of time that they do. So, I ask once again that you just listen (or read as the case may be) and understand them. Don't get caught up in the 5 "W's" (who, what, when, where, why, [and of course] wazzzzup)... just go with them.

They are a little shocking... you may not know this... but

A) People are sometimes born with extraordinary gifts. It doesn't happen often, only when things in the universe get turned 'upside down' so to speak.
B) Death is not what you think it is. Some people die and ascend or descend to another plane, others stay here in a less... um, well....... corporeal form. It doesn't really mean they are a 'ghost'... well, its just something else entirely.

So, "C)" is much more elementary. Its something that you know, without really knowing. There is always an opposite. For everything. For every black, there is a white. For every deity as gracious as Jehova, there is someone equally as evil like the fallen angel Michael. So, there is always an 'antagonist' and a 'protagonist'...

Follow me so far? I thought so.

Lastly, Time is the 4th dimension. Anyone who has read Vonnegut or been a Michael J Fox fan is somewhat familiar with this concept sure... but I want to express it in a way that would lend its hand to deciphering what is to come. People get so caught up in time "passing" or "what is coming". This is because you are not seeing time, just going along with what you have always been told. Its a dimension. It is possible to see it.

The first dimension is a straight line, the second a figure depicted on a flat plane (ala TV, photograph) and the third is something that has the property or appearance of having bulk, volume, mass (like us, a tree, or an ant bed)... so, you can see all of these. Well, time is no different. If you can get past what you know, and actually see time for what it is... it is a line that has no beginning or end and an infinite amount of spots that mark each fragment of time. If you could just see the line, perhaps (and this is a bit of leap for you I am sure, but remember about the suspending reality thing) you could visit any point in time you wanted, whenever you wanted....

Ok, for those who i didn't lose right then, its finally time to begin this tale--- no more theories or rules (for now) I promise.



St Louis, Missouri
December 12, 1984

Work for Paul Noise had never been something he actually liked. To say he took the ancient Italian mantra of "worked to live" to heart would be moderately accurate, but he didn't really like to live either. Each and every day of the week consisted of the same things as the one previous. He woke at 8, got to work around 9, had lunch at noon, got home from work around 5. (this is still a few decades away from when 9-5 became 9-630) On the way home from work every day, he would stop by the local liquor store, and pick up a bottle of black label whiskey to drink himself to sleep with.

He lived with his current girlfriend (formerly his ex-girlfriend) in a small, 1 bedroom apartment on the wrong side of the tracks. She had broken up with him at one juncture, but through a strange twist of events ended back up with him.

The first two months of their rekindling was the last time Paul had felt any joy whatsoever. Now, he was miserable. She never wanted to go out and try or do fun and new things, but instead lead a life in front of the television. A life devoted to the goings on of Sgt Bosco Baracus or Captain Merrill Stubing, to accompany the same dishes made from the same worn out recipes her own mother had weened her on.

Paul went home that evening to find a new and exciting episode of M*A*S*H* on, and a tray in front of his chair with cooling salmon patties and straight-from-the-can green beans waiting on him. Paul sat down and opened his bottle of black label whiskey, and began to chug away.

He came to in a dark room, only the light of the static filled television in front of him was to be seen. His left hand still held onto the nearly empty bottle of liquor, so he promptly raised it to his lips and took another swig. He stumbled as he rose from his chair, knocking over the tv tray in the process. He reached to the ground, and picked up his not so full pack of Camel no filtered cigarettes and headed towards their patio to have a cigarette. The clock on the wall read 3:13 am.

Paul opened the door, and lit his square promptly. As he inhaled, he heard a rustling in the bushes below (2cnd floor apt, I forgot to mention--- sorry to get all Michael Crichton on you). He looked down and saw a man dressed in all black. The man looked up to him and said

"no more time to waste Paul"

before Paul could even ask how the hell this fellow knew his name, a shot rang out and Paul was struck directly between his eyes with a .45 caliber bullet. His body went lifeless, and his still lit cigarette fell to the ground.

3:40 am
December 12, 1984
Austin, Tx

"I'm sorry sir, but there has been a few complications" the Doctor told the man expecting to be a father in the waiting room.

"Was it a boy or a girl?" the man said, trying his best to hold back all of his tears...

"You are the father of a baby boy sir, and he is perfectly healthy; its your wife who didn't make it"

(to be continued)