Need To Shave

I woke up and took a look at my grill in the mirror today, and i must have slept on some miracle grow, because even though I shaved before I went out last night, its already come back out like a post happy hour puke and rally. Some cats get that fortunate 5 O'Clock shadow (ala Justin Timba-Timba-Timberlake) but not this white boy. Nope, my shit grows in spotty like an old school case of the measles leaving me looking like the single guy who drives the 1980's Econoline and lives across the street from the Jr High.

I made a hard right turn on my hot water knob, and let that water heat up to a sterilizing temperature, while i reached for that American flag colored can of Barbasol. I coated my face with a phat lather, and threw my Shick Tracer under that water as to heat up the blades.

As I took the razor to my skin, I came to a horrible realization. The blades were duller than a wedding reception in a Baptist social hall. For me to clean myself up back to socially acceptable I was going to have to run out to Wal-Mart for a whole second and pick up a new set of blades.

I got to Wally World and mad dashed to the right isle, looking for replacement blades when I was popped with yet another moment of shock and awe. I guess I really have only bought disposables or new razors before, because I had really never thought about how ludicrous replacement blade prices were. I mean, we might as well back our dollar in these things, because they are evidently more precious than rocks that come in blue boxes.

Why does it cost more to buy four blades than it does to buy a whole razor? Are these things hand cut by American Union workers from onyx or something? I refused to throw Shick any more paper than I had to, and just bought another four pack of the disposable tracers.

I made it home and within strokes my face was back to egg smooth and my disaster was dodged like our past two presidents in a draft year. Now- I could hit up lunch with no frets.