Hooters-1 Me-0

You know how every person with a swilla danglin between their legs who has ever stepped foot into a Hooters thinks they have a shot with one of the girls there?? They probably have like a 98 percent chance of being wrong I would say.

I mean, seriously- when eating there its sooooooo funny to just see the guys that roll up there by themselves, eat some terrible food, drink some beers and get a little less inhibited--- have the waitress (with a name usually ending in a Y as in I sound) touchin them on the arm or shoulder, laughing at everything they are saying (even most of the time they aren't listening to them or have no fuckin clue what the guy is talking about) and then at the end of the night throw her a 100% tip.... funny stuff... looooooooves it

I mean, I used to holla at this girl who worked there, so I would watch it all first hand. That lil' boo would take cheese from these guys like she was sampling at a dairy factory then pay for my stuff later that night and take me home. anyway- why all this.. i know i know

I went and watched Kobe rock socks the other night and our waitress was completely cute. She had this great bubbly personality, the whole "i'm working my way through school" story kickin, an incredible body (like seriously, the first time i have seen hooters shorts make someone's booty look good) and I mean- she was a hell of a waitress too. She was bringin us new pitchers as soon as the one she had just given us was half full (optimist until the day i die) and we were like flying through them.

I was smooth as eggs too... she was laughing, we were laughing... then sometime inbetween the 3rd and 4th quarter... it happened

Thats right....

Like usual, and being COMPLETELY typical-------I got smashed.

Well, smashed may be too strong, but definitely to that point where i now thought i had a chance with this girl. So did my two friends who were with me, i would like to point out, but my ego is already ridiculous... Miller Lite and some strategic flirting pushed it over the top Sly Stallone style.

Like I said...I was coy and funny for a while, but when my speech starting getting slurred and muddy, I could only come up with the classic cromagnon pick-up lines like

"You pretty"
or "I money have"

The time came to pay the bill, and i checked the receipt. Through my drunken lenses I saw that she had drawn a smiley faced and written "don't forget to leave your phone number"...

Ohhhhhhhhh snap. So, I ran my card and tipped away... thinking I had gotten a new potential.

The next morning I woke up and saw the receipt laying on my table. I looked at it and to no surprise, but complete buyers remorse, I had tipped 100%. I had just become the guy I made fun of.

"But wait!!!!! I got her number!!!!!!" I scrolled through my phone finding nary a new phone number, and then was hit with another great realization- she asked for my number... which is probably in a clear trash bag in the dumpster behind hooters....she had played me.... she had
played me well.

So, all in all... there were two games that night, and two killer performances. Kobe scored in the high 30s and won---- and Abby beat the shit out of me too. Well done woman. See you in game 2.