Jumpin The Gun

When trying to make some sort of progress that will last more than a few hours, there is not much worse of a thing one could do than coming out of the blocks way too quickly.

A friend of mine was talking to me this afternoon over lunch about how he recently made this mistake and is now with out a clue of a thing to do.

You see, my friend Chris recently met this girl, who he thought was pretty fly and really wanted to take out. After a while of trying, he finally got his wish and had (from what he reported on his very one-sided and bias stance on the review) a date for the ages. They had some killer wine, a great meal, did some fun things- and it was awesome.... the thing is- it didn't stop there.

Chris and her went out past all of this, and continued drinking all of the towns liquor like it was going to cure cancer or something if they finished enough of it. One thing led to another, and they ended up back at his apartment to call it a night.

He didn't get into too many wild details, but the context clues pointed to the aftermath coming down to them getting pretty physical. He told me it was kinda weird the next morning, and he really didn't know what to do about it.

I mean, Chris made some good points even in his silence. You see, its really tough to just hook up with someone when you are getting to know them and then get back on the track you were on that leads to the knowledge of each other on an equal level.

My advice to him was tricky to lend, because:
if he comes on too strong- he seems stalker.
if he doesn't call at all- he is just that asshole hook up.

So, the fine line must be found in order for him to ever share another meal with her.

I first was like- well do things that don't involve alcohol so you two wont get to a place where that could happen again.... then he was like 'well what if she wont come out'

then it hit me.

The way around this all, is to incorporate planned events including other people. Her opinion of him is not only slightly jaded because of him right now- its also (probably much even more so) probably having a lot of glass-is-not-half-full additions because of what SHE thinks HE thinks of her! What a pickle!

The main thing that Chris needs to do, if he wishes to go after her at all, is make sure that he doesnt press for any physicality or intimacy or tender moments for some time to come. This really shouldn't be that big of a deal if he really just wants to get to know her (like he so beat into the ground). Who knows what will come of it... i am sure when I find out if my advice worked though- you will be the first i boast it to.

toodles~