Peter the Rabbit (2008 take)

Once upon a time, actually earlier this year
there lived a small white rabbit, with a cute nose and ears.
He was hopping from field to field, hanging out with his friends
he loved the single rabbit life, wanted it never to end!
He loved chasing tail (cotton i mean)
and with each carrot ate, he picked up more steam!

One hot summer day, he was hopping 'cross the trail
but a strange sight, made him slow his pace like a snail!
Coming up to him, like a bullet from a Lueger
was a dark and seductive, female cougar.
Her voice was raspy, as she started to speak
and strongly of pheromones, did her fur reak.

"Hello little Rabbit, how do you do?"
Peter managed to come out with "Fine how are you?"
You could tell he was nervous! His paws were all sweaty!
His heart started to race and his breathing got heavy!
She circled around him, and stared at her prey,
opened her mouth and then did she say

"Call me a joint, cause i'll let you toke
i can show you things you have never heard spoke.
i'll show you the ways that all of this can work-
then i'll rip out your heart and eat it as dessert."

Peter's eyes got wide, and his mouth got dry.
He didn't know whether to stay, or go run and hide.
She looked right at him, and he felt her eyes stab
So he bolted quickly, like Lindsay Lohan from rehab!
He rushed through the thicket, heart racing so fast
Got to a meadow, and stopped to rest on the grass.

Not too long passed, and he heard a rustling sound...
he perked up his ears and took a look around-
From behind a tree, came slinking out slowly
a strange looking creature, who seemed sad and lonely.
Peter hopped forward, for he was a good little rabbit
and helping others out, had become quite the habit.

As he got closer, the better he could peer
at the strange looking creature, which resembled a deer..
"Are you lost deer?" Peter asked nicely
"Why yes can you help me?" the deer inquired politely.
"Do you need food? Are you alone?"
"I'm just scared, and need to be followed home"

Peter didn't hesitate, in his response at all,
He tried to console the deer by touching its----paw?
"My Miss Deer, your hooves have claws and are black!"
"I can not help it, Jesus made me like that"
Peter walked ahead of her, now cautious slightly
then his bunny ears heard her say lightly...

"Call me a joint, cause i'll let you toke
i can show you things you have never heard spoke.
i'll show you the ways that all of this can work-
then i'll rip out your heart and eat it as dessert."

Peter turned around, (not like Ace of Base said)
"You aren't a deer! You're the Cougar instead!"
The Coug shed her costume, in one single motion
and Peter took off, making all sorts of commotion
from behind him, he heard the cat say
"I'll get you my pretty, by the end of the day!"

Peter hopped far and fast, covered all sorts of ground;
got to a place with all sorts of people around.
He came up to a bar, and saw his friend Bruce-
then quickly noticed, they had 2 dollar (Well) carrot juice.
"I've got a story for you", Peter said while he ordered a glass-
then the two rabbits, proceded to get smashed.

Closing time came, and Peter stumbled out-
the Cougar's threat, he had forgotten all about...
and as he stumbled and hopped through the street
he heard in the distance, a voice sounding sweet.
He perked up his ears, he had heard this before
but this was the first time, he had wanted to hear more-

"Call me a joint, cause i'll let you toke
i can show you things you have never heard spoke.
i'll show you the ways that all of this can work-
then i'll rip out your heart and eat it as dessert."

He went to the Cougar, some 20 yards away
walked right up to her, and started to say
"I know you will kill me, i know you care not
about who i am, or what i have got-
but you are the hottest thing, hath seen this Hare;
and the whole death thing- i'm way too fucked up to care"

And that's the way it happens, or thats the way it goes;
and what happens to the rabbits, i guess no one ever knows...